New goals for a new year

As I ring in the New Year from Mexico (currently sick and in bed, but hoping to celebrate with my missions team and new Mexican friends later) I am reflecting back on the resolutions I made a year ago and where I want to go from there. As you can see here, my New Years Resolution for 2014 was a big checklist, and as much as I love checklists and goals, this strategy brought more stress than it was worth. I completed all of those goals (except eating healthier... oops), but they were mostly done in a last-minute, catch-up sort of way. This obviously defeated their purpose of starting new habits.

I'm trying to set my 2015 goals in a new way, a way that might still inspire me to move forward but without the guilt of forgetting to keep track or not meeting certain numbers. These goals are general and I can't measure them, but they are things that I feel will help me grow as a person in ways I know I've been lacking this year.

1. Prioritize people. This goal comes from two realizations I have made over the last year. One is that I tend to take advantage of having really great friends, without consciously investing in them. I have become close to some really fantastic people over the years and am very thankful for those who love me so well and count me a part of their circle. That being said, I also know I have nearly always put my homework or other tasks before being with them. Now that many of them live so far away from me, I am realizing more than ever that I need to invest in the people I care about if I want to keep what we had. The other realization is that there are sometimes seasons where I just need to step out of my comfort zone and work my way into relationships that I'm not used to. Being a 5th year at Lawrence has made me realize that, because my primary group of friends has graduated and moved away. I still have many friends here but I am not used to being within their groups. It will take some work but I am determined to start putting in these new roots with new people.
2. Take time for health. Being healthy is not something I do easily when I am busy and stressed out, so I am intentionally lightening my load so that I can pursue what my body need this year. Some particulars are:
• avoiding sugar. Sugar might be the cause of some of the general fatigue and sickly-ness I feel most days, so I'm hoping that limiting it will give me some new energy.
• physical therapy. I've had a really helpful scoliosis physical therapy routine for years now, but I rarely do it despite how much it relieves my back pain. I want to let it become a regular part of my life this year, so that it doesn't feel like such a burden anymore.
• work on flexibility. I wonder if some of the pain I have just comes from not being able to move the way I once was. This year I want to work on increasing my flexibility so that I can hopefully be more comfortable, more often. (feeling like an old lady as I type this.)
3. Write more. Writing - whether in my journal, in letters to friends, or on this blog - is an outlet for me. I'm not good at verbally expressing myself, and writing allows me to slow down my thoughts and process them as I get them out. Writing more will keep life from running away in my busyness as I stay connected with myself and with God.

Merry Christmas from Simba!

This is Simba's second Christmas, and he would like to show you how he celebrated!

First, he went to see Santa, but it took a while to get him to settle down and sit on Santa's lap like a good little boy:

Then he helped the family decorate our tree!

For a while he kept us entertained with some french horn playing...

Then he got to unwrap his presents!

And got his own, simba-sized tree :)

Merry Christmas!

Serving where I'm not gifted...

Long time, no post! I try to save all my writing for school these days, I sure have enough of it to do there... Anyways, I've gotten out of the groove of blogging but am going to try to start it up again!

It's winter break, and for the week after Christmas I'm going on a mission trip to Múzquiz, México. Somehow I ended up being in charge of the dramas/skits and singing on the worship team. I have only ever acted in one, very minor, play. I also am not a very good singer. Yet, there were holes and I reluctantly agreed to fill them.

I have to admit that I had a bad attitude about it up until a few days ago. I put off planning the dramas until the night before our team meeting, and only did it then because of a last-minute panic. I complained about it to my family and friends, telling them how I had no idea what I was doing and didn't want to put in the effort to figure it out.

Finally, our last trip meeting came and I met the drama team and the worship team. A side conversation with the person leading the worship team revealed that she didn't think she knew what she was doing either, but she had a completely different attitude about it. She had the heart of a willing servant - giving everything she had to the work she had been assigned for the glory of God. She might have been apprehensive about how to proceed, but her dedication showed. Instead of complaining she came with a plan for how to encourage the whole team with a well-planned worship set at the start of each day in México.

I was encouraged immediately by witnessing this and now I hope to do my job the best I can. Sure, I still have no idea what I'm doing, but whatever happens will find me with joy that I get to contribute to the various ways in which we share the hope of Christ with these people. And as far as singing goes: I may not have a beautiful voice, but I realized that I have something to contribute to our worship with the Mexican people - I speak Spanish. So I pray that I'll be able to get across the beautiful messages in the songs I chose and that these people will be filled with hope rather than despair about their circumstances.

I learned this past weekend that regardless of whether we feel equipped or called, sometimes there is just work to be done and God might be challenging us to step outside our comfort zone in our service to Him. I regret the sour attitude I had in accepting this challenge and hope that He will help me to see opportunities like this as chances to thank Him for what He has done for me.

GlobeMed LI and my "Story of Self"

So last weekend was my last trip for the summer, and it was probably the most mentally exhausting plus motivating trip of them all! It was GlobeMed's Leadership Institute in Evanston, IL! Two full days of presentations, workshops and planning with the other co-president Alana, ghU coordinator Madeleine and GROW coordinator Monica! One inspiring/reflective activity we did was figure out how to tell our "Story of Self" or how we got to be passionate about global health/social justice, which is probably why a lot of us are in GlobeMed. When I got home, I put together my responses to certain prompts they gave us, which had me look honestly at where I've come from and how it got me here. So here goes...

I come from a comfortable lifestyle and a nearly problem-free Christian family (compared to the world at large, of course. We aren't perfect.) My path has been largely obstacle-free, allowing me to pursue interests ranging from volleyball to orchestra to biology and everything in between. I always knew that I could, you know, "reach for the stars," do anything, have anything I worked toward. Whichever career might interest me was worth my consideration because I probably had access to the resources it would require, but I still never felt particularly drawn to anything. I knew what I could do but the question of why was always pulling at me, never letting me be completely satisfied.

Once I started to realize that this lifestyle wasn't fulfilling me, I began to see the aspects of my life that, while not necessarily bad in and of themselves, perpetuated it. The material comfort of my life allowed me to not think about the why of suffering I had heard of but not really experienced. Busyness and success filled my time and I never stopped to consider why so many other people weren't able to achieve the things that I had, even if they worked so much harder than me. Concern with what I was doing blinded me until the questions really started flowing in about "my future" and I was forced to consider how I might build a life that actually meant something in the wake of all this.

So now I'm in the process of figuring that life out. I want to try my best to live a life that doesn't rob anyone else of the things I enjoy. I want to continue in academic pursuits of the best ways to serve the world without becoming a burden to it. I want to work on my relationships with people and develop a much stronger attitude of compassion. Most of all, I want to honor God by seeking the best for His kingdom and people, rather than the best for myself.

That brings me to GlobeMed, because after all, I began this self-reflection exercise at their prompting. The "what" of GlobeMed attracted me of course, with its focus on bringing power back into the hands of local people worldwide so that they can create positive, sustainable change in their own communities. How each chapter and partner organization does that is different, and though the GlobeMed model focuses itself on health and health-related rights, I believe their tactics to be some of the best I have heard of in helping any marginalized group of people. My personal involvement in GlobeMed has not only allowed me to contribute to their movement during my undergrad years, but it has equipped me with so many tools, skills and passions that I can use for whatever I pursue in life. I have learned the value of partnering with local people on the other side of the world, the ability to listen and find out what the actual best solutions are without the effects of my biases, how to relate my experiences in ways that might inspire other people, and so, so much more. Of course I'll still struggle with this because of the West's superiority complex and my own stubbornness about ideas, but I now have the tools to keep working on it. This year I am a co-president of Lawrence's chapter, and I'm so excited because what I want for all of the members is that they use whatever passions and skills they have to bring peace and support to places that need it, and I am grateful for this chance to inspire them to do so. In fact, I think they are already doing so because their interest in GlobeMed probably has stemmed from a desire to partner up with the world and make it better. We have an exciting year ahead, but more importantly, an exciting life ahead. We really can get back to the "whys" of the world and work from those to make a difference.

Madeleine, Monica, me and Alana at LI :) Just a small part of a great team!

Some peace.

Near the end of a busy summer filled with weddings, work and preparations for the upcoming school year, I found the restoration and rejuvenation I needed in northern Arizona. The time away from all obligations and (most) communication gave me some space to breathe and connect with God more than I have been with the distractions of Wisconsin. I'll leave some pictures here, with a few comments about my most meaningful experiences.

First, Sedona. My favorite.

This was what I always pictured whenever the Grand Canyon was mentioned. Turns out Sedona is something else, but just as spectacular as I hoped.

I mean, look at that. What a cool creation.

An appropriate tribute to the artist behind it all :)
A few quiet moments to pray in the chapel up there gave so much more meaning to the beauty I got to see all week. 

Every time I see places like this I just want to get in and be a part of them. Admiring from afar doesn't do a whole lot for me, so being able to climb around in the red rocks gave me a whole new appreciation of them!

Flagstaff, where we lived for the week.

My reading rock in the woods directly behind our house :) Nothing like sunshine and quiet (besides the trains).
I got to do a lot of reading here, of some books I'll mention in another post. All of them were written by Christian authors and they were a wonderful mixture of thoughtful, convincing and encouraging.

Spent a lot of time watching and getting close to the trains in the back yard. My fascination/fear of trains definitely made it an exciting activity!

Train-watching rock, conveniently located above the tracks. If your wondering about the reading rock and this rock... yes, i do designate my rocks for specific activities.

Going up Humphrey's peak, the highest mountain in AZ. Views were a little hazy because of 3 forest fires we could see evenly spaced out in the distance, but it was still a cool experience.

Just another view in Flagstaff. Quite the contrast to the deserts and rock formations that made up our touring. It was a great place to come back to each night!

Meteor Crater.

This was one of the last things we did on our trip, after some begging on my part (c'mon dad, something from SPACE made a huge hole in the desert!) But seriously, isn't that cool? That thing is a mile across and three miles around!

On our 30-minute "tour" of the crater. Really just standing out in the sun while a guide told us the history of this place's discovery and exploration. Actually pretty fascinating. It took a LOT of convincing and years of research to convince the government that this is more than just "a hole" and a meteor created it.

Touching the real deal. This is the largest meteorite they found. So an actual piece of the meteor that made the crater. Really. This actual thing I am touching is a big chunk of metal that was once flying around in space, not a replica.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

And finally... the Grand Canyon.

Sunrise across the Canyon :)

The family on this trip minus dad! Sara, mom, me, Aunt Carrie, Rachel.

We hiked about 2 miles of trails into the Canyon, which was definitely rewarding. If I ever go back though, I'm going all the way in and spending some time down there. Like I said about the red rocks in Sedona - I want to be a part of it.

Preeeeetty crazy. I have an overwhelming desire to be able to be invincible and never get tired, so I could just climb around in things like this and explore every inch.

Yes. This sums up how the week made me feel.

Whew, spring term real quick.

So this term was pretty crazy. Clearly, I didn't get the chance to blog... but hopefully living at the Info Desk this summer (plus all of the cool things happening) will give me some opportunities to write! I really would like to be on my blog more often. One reason is that even more of my friends have graduated so my circle is spreading further around the country! Keeping in touch consistently is hard for me, so I hope that my blog is one way I can update these people that I love. Another motivator for me to write here is that I like sharing the things I am learning and/or are working on. I like to be pretty aware of how God's spirit is working in me on a day-to-day basis writing about it helps me reflect. Putting these thoughts in a public place like this is another way of sharing my life with those I might not be talking to as often as I like (and everyone else).

So, some big things that happened this term:

Senior recital - this was a lot of work to put together, but I love the music I chose and had a blast performing! It reminded me of so many different ways I've been blessed here at Lawrence... that I am able to participate in the Conservatory, that I have a wonderful and dedicated teacher, that I have talented and fun colleagues to work with and that I have an amazing studio and group of friends/family to support me!

My baby sister Rachel on flute and 'grandma' Allison on piano! We played "Maya" by Ian Clarke.

(Most of) my flute studio!

Potts wedding - a couple of friends throughout my Lawrence years, Sarah and Colin, got married on May 31st! I got to play my flute for their ceremony and was very happy to be a part of that great day :) This was the first of a series of 3 weddings of close friends of mine. I'm inspired by the love and devotion my friends have for God and for those who He has placed in their lives!

Absolutely love these girls. The beautiful bride is in the middle, surrounded by her bridesmaid and musicians!

Anthropology project - this term I took the dreaded Research Methods class for my Anthropology major... and loved it! I did my small research project at the Emergency Shelter of the Fox Valley and although there was a lot of work and time involved, I wish I could have researched every single aspect of the place! It was fascinating and inspiring, and I left every session there with a huge smile on my face. That organization is truly making a difference in people's lives and striving to show the value of the homeless of Appleton as hard-working, resilient people.

Graduation - this year my class graduated! Which was very weird, since I didn't graduate with them. I'm happy to be staying a fifth year since I enjoy both my degree programs and love Lawrence, but seeing the age group I have identified with for four years move on while I stay behind was much more uncomfortable than I anticipated. Nevertheless, I am happy for my friends and for all the big plans and opportunities they have! 

The "Colman Quad" - Emily, Josie, me and Lauren!

Those are the highlights of my spring term! I hope to stop making myself busy beyond belief so that I have time to continue thinking and writing outside of classwork once the term begins. In a couple of days my hubby Josie gets married, so I'm sure I'll be writing again soon. Bye!

My spring break trip to... Warch.

As spring break comes to a close, I thought I'd attempt to make my spring break look as cool as the trip to Sierra Leone I turned down :)

Friends, too many blue slushies, millions of posters to hang, stamp wars and toppers.

Okay so instead of flying to the other side of the world, I walked to the other side of campus to sit in the same spot for 8 hours every day. But I'd still call that a good spring break! I got to do some reading, hang out with whichever friends decided to stop by the desk (or set up camp there), and do a little bit of work. Plus, when I was in my room, I had the Colman zoo to keep me company, which is probably just as diverse as the rainforest:

Simba the gecko, Juju the hamster and two fish whose names I don't know/remember!

Because it's spring break and I'm one of just a few people on campus, I am pet sitting for a couple of friends (and just had to include Simba because he likes the publicity)!

I even got to get slightly off-campus a few times! I attended my sister's orchestra concert, had dinner cooked for me by my lovely old-roommate Kelsi in her and her husband's home (and saw her adorable new puppy, Boo) and went recital dress shopping with my mom!

I hope my wild adventures don't make you too jealous, but in all honesty, I'm thankful for this calm break between terms after all of my summer/fall traveling and in preparation for some more summer craziness.

Called to the "least of these."

Sometime three years ago as I was sitting in a church in a new city wondering, as all college freshmen do, what I would end up doing with my life, this passage was projected up onto the church screen:

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' 

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' 

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" 

-Matthew 25:34-40

Since that morning, this passage has been a source of inspiration. Every time I stumble across it in my devotionals or hear it mentioned in a sermon, I get excited about it again. For me, this passage makes my "calling" clear. I don't necessarily believe that God is going to one day tell me, "This is the specific career you should do, so take these steps to get there."  Instead, I believe he has given us a pretty clear picture of what He wants his people to do or "calls" us to do, and that these words from the mouth of Christ himself clearly give us some examples to get started with. While these are by no means the only ways by which we can serve Him and be a blessing to those around us, I cling to this passage to help me become a more compassionate person (something that does not come naturally to me) and find ways to express my thankfulness to God by giving back.

As I head into spring term of senior year (even though I have a 5th year of undergrad ahead) I keep hearing about others' next steps and getting the common question, "What are your plans for after Lawrence?" This questions stresses me out because, frankly, I only have one year of "after Lawrence" potentially planned and the rest is wide open. I take comfort in this passage though, because I know that regardless of what titles or education I have in the future, I want my life to be oriented around these principles. I know that when I am considering an opportunity I can always look back to Jesus' words to confirm whether that choice will allow me to serve "the least of these brothers and sisters."

Simple. Or at least more so.

Simplifying life is hard, but I'm starting to discover that it is worth-while. I have always avoided simplicity because I found no reason to decline a good opportunity, but recently I have found a greater good in being able to take life at a more relaxed pace and appreciate things that would have gone undetected had I not given myself space. Here are a few things that have made me realize that simplicity is a new theme in my life:

----> I'm trying really hard to keep Sunday as a sabbath. In that sense, I don't practice my flute and I try to get all my homework done before-hand or save it until Monday morning. I started just about a month ago, and at this point I can say that it takes some adjusting but has been good for me. Mostly, I just don't know how to handle un-scheduled time, but I'm learning. It leaves the door open for me to realize what God is trying to do in my life. That is a very broad statement, but I'm not going to try to define what Sundays will be any more than that lest I fall into my planning-obsession again and defeat the purpose!

----> I recently was asked to accompany another student and a professor to Sierra Leone this spring break to help with nutrition research, decided I could only go if it were completely funded, found out that it's quite possible for me to get a grant that would cover the trip, and now have finally decided to turn it down anyways. Despite my love of seeing new places, interest in nutrition and hopes to return to Africa again, this opportunity wasn't sitting right with me. I need the rest that spring break is there for. Exploring the world is great and I want to do more of it, but I can't go when it's shoved into the only two weeks I have to breathe between Lawrence terms. It was liberating to realize that I am capable of turning down exciting opportunities when I need to.

----> After a year of working as a student researcher in the biology lab of one of my favorite professors, I did what I needed to do but have been putting off: I quit. Reasons why I needed to make this decision: I changed my college major and life goals so that neither of them has much to do with biology anymore, I have PLENTY of other things calling for my attention/time, I should start focusing on things that have more to do with my current goals, and it is getting hard to keep up with what I need to understand for this job since I don't take science classes anymore. Reasons why I really didn't want to make this decision: I love the lab community and being nerdy with the friends I met there, I feel reluctant to let go of my last grip on hard science, I love working for Judith, and I was actually kind-of excited about the new project I was going to take on. This one was tough, but the people I talked to about it agreed that it was wise to leave this part of my life behind. I'm still friends with my lab people and get to talk to Judith from time to time so I'll get over the rest of it!

Over winter break I read a really inspirational book that further prompted me in this direction:

The Contented Soul: The Art of Savoring Life 

by Lisa Graham McMinn

I'm not sure how to even describe this book, as she covered so many areas of life and how to be content and peaceful within them, so I'll just quote the inside cover sleeve: 

"Our souls were not made for frantic, frenzied living. And, in the midst of our busy culture, we have forgotten - or perhaps never learned - how to savor moments and days. But Lisa Graham McMinn calls us back to a significant, simpler way of life, a way characterized by intimate connection with our Creator, authentic relationships with others and a profound hope for the shalom that is to come."

This is definitely worth a read and if anyone at Lawrence wants to borrow it, let me know! I might even consider mailing it if someone who is not at Lawrence is interested :)

Here's a picture I took at home, shortly after I got back from Ecuador. It's sort-of relevant because after a semester of living among stunning mountains, I was surprised how much I appreciated the beauty of the geographically simple, flat place I'm from!

Happy 2014!

I'm kicking off the new year by kicking off a new blog! I never thought I could get into the blogging thing until I tried doing it for my two recent international trips (see 180º in 180 days if you want to read about those). Turns out, I like it... so I'm going to keep doing it even though I am home and my life is considerably less interesting ;)

I love New Year's resolutions because I love goals. As many of my friends can attest, I'm a little too obsessed with goals and you can probably see that in the length of this list. Still, I tried to only include meaningful goals that address some of the wishes I have had or areas of potential improvement I have noticed over the last year.

1. Read 5 news articles a week. I realized this year that even though I claim to have an interest in the world and want to go out into it as a missionary, I really don't know anything about what is happening out there (or even in the US). I want to be a more well-informed citizen of my country and of the world before I try to make opinions or help out with issues. Plus, any current events knowledge I gain by doing this will help out in VR Trivia :)
2. Listen to 5 new pieces of music a week. I know surprisingly little about music considering the fact that I am one class short of finishing a Music Performance major. I would like to expand what I have heard and what I know about certain composers, styles, time periods, etc. by listening to new pieces on a regular basis.
3. Give more money. Specifically, I would like to tithe 10% of my earnings to my church as well as donate 5% to a charity/NGO/mission that I have researched. I have various reasons for wanting to focus on this that I am having a hard time figuring out how to write down, but to sum them up, I think it is a good practice to be obedient to God, relinquish my attachment to material possessions, and support those who are trying to do good in the world. 
4. Learn 7 new Spanish words a week. After I overcame my general fear of speaking Spanish while in Ecuador, the main thing holding me back was a simple lack of vocabulary. I feel relatively comfortable with grammar and conversing now, but it is always disappointing to lack the relevant words to express myself. 
5. Eat healthier... which sounds cliché since nearly everybody makes this their resolution, but I would like to do my best to boycott junk food and fast food in order to stop being a hypocrite about nutrition issues. I have realized while studying nutrition in Ecuador that a HUGE nutritional problem around the world is that globalization is bringing these horrible foods into every culture and enticing people to eat them, causing malnutrition, obesity and sickness. I can harp about that as much as I want but I am a hypocrite until I can also put aside these foods and thereby withdraw my support from these companies.
6. Run 5 5k races. I'm not concerned about the exercise part of this so much as the endurance, mental toughness and focus. I've always known that I tire out really fast, but when I failed miserably at climbing Cotopaxi in Ecuador this fall, I realized how much I lack the mental ability to keep pushing on. Running is an area where I can really work on this mental toughness and I think the strengths I can gain from training for and running these races will affect many areas of my life.
7. Read the Bible... in 2 years. From August 2012 - August 2013 (the year I was 20) I completed a "read the Bible in a year" plan. It was great and I was fascinated to read things that I normally don't turn to. BUT, those were some big reading chunks to do every day and I didn't get to spend much time on any of the sections. Hopefully, spreading this reading plan out over 2 years will allow me to think more deeply about what I am reading. I know, this is a resolution for the next 2 years. So for this year, my goal is to read half of the Bible!

If you see me and think about it, ask me how these resolutions are coming! Accountability works wonders. What are your resolutions?